Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Project Willie Muffin

Sorry I haven't written for you guys lately, I got so caught up in my new Horse Pad that I lost complete track of time. I've been playing all these awesome games and checkin out the fillies on Horsebook. I love the My Horse app, I hear mom has one for me. I decided to make, my horse Riley, that way I could make him do all the work for once. I still don't understand why everyone loves this Angry Birds thing, should be more like angry geese, those things were mean whenever I ran into them in the back field.

I would like to officially welcome Cole to team. It's a shame I can't tell him what life will really be like for him, Riley taking all the limelight while he does all the hard work. And hopefully he'll be a little like me and not give into all the peer pressure of over eating. Riley was looking a little chubby in that patriotic picture. Doesn't he know to stay away from horizontal stripes? They aren't slimming. Mom is already worried Riley is going to start teaching Cole all the tricks of the trade, like how to milk injuries and how to play mind games with Maggie and you being lame. She's even threatened to separate them so they can't talk to each other through the stall walls. She knows that it's no use though, they'll probably just tie some twine between two water buckets and use them to talk. Speaking of Riley looking like an American Flag...why the hell couldn't mom win any of this sweet stuff while I was around? A tredstep makeover (she needed some new stuff since she always bought everything for us and nothing for herself) and a new massage pad. I would have loved to you that thing. Sitting in the stall with that and my voodoo hat on would have been like living in a spa. And to top it all off John won that kick-ass helmet. I'm really sad he'll never get to ride me with it, we would have looked soooo cool.

In case everyone hasn't heard yet, I'm working in the Willie Muffin factory now. Yes we produce them up here, with treats that good, they couldn't make them on earth. I was hired on as Head Taste Tester and New Flavor Creator. Cole is so picky right now with what he likes, I've gotta come up with new flavors; I mean what kind of horse doesn't like carrots?! What a weirdo, those are the best treats, not the sugar filled ones or the crappy Tractor Supply cookies. And it's a good thing Riley does work here though, he would probably get fired the first day for sneaking too many treats. I can just see him waiting at the end of the conveyor belt eatin' them before they can fall into the box. I've noticed that Cole has yet to get his peppermint hangin' ball, apparently Riles is keepin his mouth shut so Cole doesn't know whats up. That way he can reap all the benefits and doesn't have to share.

I've been thinking of ways to still mess with Riley. I think I might accidentally drop some peppermints and carrots from the sky over the back field and see how he reacts, hopefully John and Maggie will think he's nuts when he tells them it's raining treats.

Well, I gotta head to work now, I'm working on a new flavor today, maybe some sort of bourbon ball flavored muffin. Its also getting so hot in the summers that I'm trying to get them to look into some sort of ice cream treat. Don't tell Riles though, he'll go on the disabled list just to get more treats.


No comments:

Post a Comment